Yes, I’ll say that one more time.
Your Limiting Beliefs Are Messing Up Your Life.
I don’t think the vast majority of us realize how much influence our limiting beliefs have on our ability to move forward with things we claim we desire.
Limiting beliefs are real and they need to be identified. Until they are, you are going nowhere.
The vast majority of our limiting beliefs are all the bits and pieces of information that our well intended family stuffed into our subconscious mind at a young age to keep us from doing stupid shit.
For the most part well intended, they were trying to save us from making massive pain inducing errors in our lives.
Unfortunately, the more they were hammered into our brains with consistency, the more difficult it was to release them later on.
I think that the universe put these in front of us to be bit of a a guidance system until we are able to think on our own.
The reality is that at some point in our lives someone had to say to us, “Don’t touch that hot stove!” Am I right? Limiting beliefs are kind of like that. Quasi scare tactics.
But we also took in a lot more subtle warnings we never really needed and certainly didn’t need to hold onto. Things like …
“All men are the same, they’ll break your heart.”
“College is too expensive. That’s not an option for you.”
“That’s not a job for a woman.”
“You’re not tall enough to play basketball.”
“Nice Jewish girls don’t do that.”
“If I show who I really am people won’t like me.”
“It’s too late to change your life.”
“You won’t find a man who will treat you better.”
“I don’t think science is your strong point.”
That’s the shit that screws folks up and limits our ability to grow. Repeated to us often enough and we start to believe them to be so and they limit our ability to step outside of their influence.
Some beliefs were just passed down to a new generation from an older generation who had no freaking idea that when they reached a point in their life where they had more experience and information, it was okay to change these (limiting) ideas before handing them off to the next generation.
I know the parents of today are a little more “let’s explain this to a child like they are 40” but my poverty stricken, sad, defeated, busy, single mother of seven living in a project said shit like,
“Get a good secretarial job, find a nice husband.”
“How can’t have a job without benefits! You MUST have health insurance.”
“No amount of money will ever make that bitch happy.”
“You don’t get out of the project by going to art school.”
“People with money have problems, just different ones.”
“If you want anything, you must work hard to get it.”
“Who does she think she is? She’ can’t do that.”
She was functioning with the limiting beliefs she was handed, but because of her own horrible circumstance she never found the energy or opportunity to re-tool those bastards into something more effective for her…and subsequently me.
She was just trying to survive. But now, I’m left carry her bag of shit along with my own and I suspect I’m not alone.
So yeah, I get where it all came from but how do I let them all go?
No one in my family ever told me that I had an option to change what I being was taught to believe. I just figured it out on my own and was brave enough to act on those changes.
My greatest motivating influence?
Yup. I knew at a very early age that I did NOT want to have a life even remotely close to that of my mother’s. That’s the damn truth.
I saw that my mother’s life pretty much sucked and I wanted nothing to do with repeating what she did.
That’s not so easy for a lot of folks, for a lot of reasons.
Generally speaking most families expect everyone to grow up, be on the same page, stay on the same page and live happily ever after. Or pretend to because no one likes an outlier. Anyone who deviates from the flock gets labelled as the “black sheep” of the family.
How screwed up is that?
Talk about negative! Who wants to be branded as an outcast by those they love?
We are ALL JUST SHEEPLE until we decide not to be sheeple any more.We are ALL JUST SHEEPLE until we decide not to be sheeple any more. Click To Tweet
But here’s the rub.
We are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.
If you choose to surround yourself with sheeple, it doesn’t matter if they are family, friends, co-workers, church parishoners… you will be expected to live within the confines of the cumulative belief system of those sheeple.
Be patient and hear me out here.
When you choose to step outside of the belief system you are currently in and step into a new one, people freak out.
When you decide to make massive change in your life, to shift what you are thinking, doing and believe, you need to be prepared to lose some sheeple along the way. If you aren’t prepared for and willing for that to happen, then you will not succeed in change.
It is your ego that needs to continue to be connected to them. The real you wants to live it’s own life, but the ego doesn’t want to let you go.
I don’t know about you but I opted to be the unicorn instead of the black sheep.I don’t know about you but I opted to be the unicorn instead of the black sheep. Click To Tweet
If you want to have an extraordinary life, you have to break away from the herd.
You’ve got to be an outlier.
You have to stop living the imposed set of (limiting) beliefs and start creating and living your own life.
That requires shifting from the unconscious mind (limiting beliefs) to the conscious mind.
You have to learn to say to yourself, “Ummm, no. I’m not buying that anymore. That’s someone else’s belief, not mine.”
More importantly, you have to be willing to accept the consequences that come from stepping away from he pack. And that, my friend, is the challenge.
We associate pain with this action, so the pleasure we anticipate having because of our change is greatly dampened by the pain of having to actually do the work.
Actually having the uncomfortable conversations.
Actually saying no!
So what do we do?
Usually we stay right where we are and hate it.
Jen Sincero (You Are a Badass) has a great analogy of change that I believe to be true. When you change your life it’s kind of like the detox that ensues when you quit a really bad habit (like smoking, drinking, excess coffee, etc). You go through some really shitty days where the body responds with a big fat WTF?? You get headaches, nausea, flu symptoms, exhaustion, sometimes the shakes…It’s not fun.
Eventually you start to feel better. The fog lifts. The nausea passes. You get your strength back.
I’m willing to bet all the heroes of your life broke away from the pack, right? They had some really rough days before the sun started shining again, huh?
They became part of that small but elite percentage of humans with king-sized cohones who declared a big fat “f#$k that” to their limiting beliefs.
They chose the significance of their own life over the needs of others.
Can I tell you how many adults I know who have allowed their own life to be stagnant and miserable because they feel beholden to the people who gave birth to them and reared them?
You are not responsible for everyone else’s happiness. They are.
You don’t have to buy their limiting beliefs.
Create your own parameters for living.
The limiting beliefs they instilled on you were intended to be a temporary guidance system until you could develop your own.
It’s time to drop theirs and pick up yours.
It’s time to create your own belief system.
Make it bold.
Then make it big.
And finally, make it YOURS.
Then set to working your ass off to make it a reality.
I believe in you. I wish you did too.
Share this with a friend. Maybe you’ll be able to push each other forward.